It's our ABC Series 2!

It’s our ABC Season 2!

In what’s been described as “Great news for reality TV fans”, the ABC today announced there would be a new season of the award-winning reality program It’s our ABC. Chair Ita Buttrose said the ground breaking show provided an open window into the daily workings of the national broadcaster and gave the public a genuine insight into how the ABC lives up to its charter. Buttrose stated: “it’s difficult to see how anyone could label the ABC biased in any way after watching it”.  Managing Director David Anderson said the long awaited new season, airing on ABC TV later in 2020, would be one of three Australian television series selected for the 70th Bejingale, one of the world’s largest and most-distinguished public film festivals. The other two being “Tony! Tony! Tony!” the ABC’s much loved docudrama about its humble news presenter Tony Jones, and “Just burn it all to the ground” an entertaining, light hearted playful comedy from ABC’s Indigenous Unit. Anderson said “The ABC is proud to fly our flag, all three of them, for outstanding Australian content at this year’s Bejing International Film Festival. It’s our ABC exemplifies the ABC’s commitment to distinctive Australian stories that resonate around the world. This recognition also celebrates the high calibre of our homegrown talent, on and off camera, that make these shows possible.”

Season 2 will feature the following entertaining episodes:

Episode 1 WRONG TRUMPET

Frustrated that no media outlet has ever found proof that US President Donald Trump is corrupt, ABC’s investigative news unit decide to send a reporter in undercover to get the dirt they know exists. Following facial reconstructive surgery ABC’s US correspondent Donor Cuffy changes his name to Fart Vanderlay and is accepted into the White House Internship Program gaining access to Trump’s offices. We follow “Fart” as he makes new connections and gets closer to locating the evidence he and the ABC know exists.

Looking over the outdated computer he has been assigned Cuffy discovers some suspicious video files buried deep on the hard drive and immediately reports on twitter that he has found something that might be worthwhile. ABC news staff are so confident it’s the dirt they are looking for and without further checking the files they decide to interrupt an episode of Four Corners and cast Cuffy’s report live to air. In exultant tones ABC veteran Sarah Ferguson describes the situation. “We interrupt this important Four Corners Report on the abuse of Lobsters in South Australia to bring breaking news about US President Donald Trump. For the past 6 weeks our US correspondent Donor Cuffy has been secretly working in the Whitehouse and just now he has found damning evidence of the President’s culpability. Donor play the tapes.” On screen a blue cloth passes in front of the camera and some seconds later the words “Ohh Monica” are distinctly heard.  The screen suddenly goes black, and a blank faced Sarah Ferguson states, “We are now taking you back now to our programmed report. Fatima el Baksheesh-Namatjira investigates animal abuse in our crustacean fisheries”.

Trump is so impressed with the report Fart Vanderlay is offered a permanent job on the White House media staff.

Episode 2 The Conservative

According to ABC’s Chair of Human Enterprise Learning and Leadership the ABC has the most diverse staff profile of any media organisation on the planet. Among its 5000 or so staff there is even a conservative! This episode spends a week in the life of ABC’s conservative reporter Fanny Blacksmith. Her oddball political allegiances became known after results of a confidential staff personality survey were leaked by the staff elected board member.

It’s the 2019 federal election and after four of its senior presenters and the weather man leave to run as Greens candidates conservative voting Blacksmith gets her chance and is asked to anchor the midnight to 2am slot of ABCs 24 hour news channel. On her appointment Managing Director Anderson states “This appointment shows claims the ABC is biased to the left by the likes of Gerard Henderson are a complete sham”.  Despite numerous mysterious technical glitches the ratings go off the charts and the early morning news claims more viewers than the prime time slot. This leads to calls, even from the Friends of the ABC, for Fanny to be elevated to lead the main 7pm news report. However with the opening credits rolling on her first prime time show she is tragically killed, impaled live on air by a falling light boom girder. The broadcast is saved by seasoned presenter Juanita Phillips who just happened to be on set at the time. During the funeral Chair Ita Buttrose states “We will never see another one like her”.   

Episode 3 We never climb ULURU Ayers Rock

We follow seasoned ABC environment reporter Fatima el Baksheesh-Namatjira, an Indigenous transgender Muslim and stellar graduate of Wendy Bacon’s University of Technology journalism course, as she travels to Australia’s red centre to cover the ban on climbing Uluru. She conducts numerous interviews with the current owners, elders and Park officials and they all agree that no traditional people ever climbed the Rock and that they never did. Happy with the interviews Baksheesh-Namatjira is invited by the owners to take a camel ride around Uluru but as the camel passes the climbing spur her flapping black burka spooks it and it runs crazily up the summit walk casting aside the last climbers on the way. Near the end of the chain things go from bad to worse as Baksheesh-Namatjira is thrown from the back of the wild beast. Fortunately as she starts to slide down the rock face her burka catches one of the chain posts and prevents her falling to her death. Hanging with her underwear exposed and lower limbs flailing her modesty is saved by a passing Japanese tourist who drapes her in an Australian flag that continues to flap in the breeze as she is brought safely to ground hanging from a helicopter cable.

The report when screened causes much dismay to Uluru’s owners when a production intern inadvertently includes archival footage of past owners Tiger Tjalkalyirri and Mitjenkeri Mick leading tourists to the summit, and elder Toby Naninga saying tourists can go anywhere at Uluru except the men’s Initiation cave showing claims about the climb are a complete farce. 

A few months later mobile phone footage of Baksheesh-Namatjira riding the camel up the Rock becomes the most watched youtube video in history and she is given the role of leading ABC’s Indigenous unit.

Episode 4 Covid1984

ABC's medical expert Norma Swann features in a special 4 Corners report tracking down the origins of the Covid19 virus. Swanny goes deep undercover into the stinking wet markets of China's Wuhan province determined to find the bat or pangolin that started the pandemic and thereby prove once and for all the virus didn't come out of a Chinese lab, a view exposed by President Trump. Posing as a vertebrate guano dealer Swanny enters the Wuhan Infectious Diseases Institute and sneaks into the laboratories. While Swanny is praising the health setup and safe guard the camera pans to a shelf in the background that shows a signed picture of Tony Jones and a box of organic carrots from ABC's roof top garden. A bat swoops in and munches on the carrots then flies straight into Swanny who looks into the camera and then sneezes as he states it will never be known where the virus originated from. As we follow him out a distinct dry coughing sound is heard. The camera tracks back to the bat now in convulsions on the floor half eaten carrot in its claws.

Other episodes this season include:

Ridd Iculous lauds the ABC’s far ranging in-depth coverage of the dismissal of Professor Peter Ridd from James Cook University. ABC head of news stated that the 9 minutes of reporting provided by ABC was amongst his proudest achievements ever;

Saint Greta Greta Thunberg takes up a 3 month internship with ABC Science but the organisation is thrown into chaos as she insists no CO2 be emitted by the organisation for the length of her stay. For three months ABC rely on wind and solar and manage to provide about 20% of their normal output. Both the Chair and Managing Director thank the Australian public for their patience and say they are gratified that not a single complaint was received about the interruptions to broadcasting. 

imPelled-Guilty as all Hell: follows ABC’s balanced impartial reporting of the trial of Cardinal George Pell; and

Austinct? We find Australia's first climate refugees. ABC reporters Emily and Chris, members of Extinction Rebellion, are interviewed about their amazing survival following their emergency exodus from their inner-city apartment to a yurt in Mongolia due to smoke from the bushfires.

ABC NEWS PRODUCTIVITY PLUMMETS. FORECASTS INDICATE ZERO OUTPUT BY 2022

EXCLUSIVE SPECIAL REPORT

 In 2012 we were forced to discontinue our annual analysis of the productivity of ABC's NEWS service as the ABC's news archive limited the number of stories to the first 10 pages of items. At the time we asked then Director Mark Scott what had happened with the archive but got no reply. It seems ABC have re-instituted access to the full online news archive so here are the current results.

THE RESULTS ARE SHOCKING!

RECORD LOW PRODUCTIVITY in 2016 

ZERO OUTPUT FORECAST in 2022

The ABC NEWS WATCH productivity survey examines ABC's total news output for the month of June as recorded in the ABC's online news archive and compares this to total ABC NEWS staff numbers taken from its annual report. The result is a measure of the productivity of ABC's NEWS division.

ABC NEWS PRODUCTIVITY SURVEY RESULTS for 2016

NEWS STORIES POSTED EACH JUNE 2003-2016

Stories per day from the ABC NEWS ARCHIVE for each June

Year  Total Stories 
2003      7230 
2004      6920 
2005      6899 
2006      6995 
2007      7988 
2008      8894 
2009      7134 
2010      6666
2011      5908
2012      6091
2013      7754
2014      7801
2015      7624 

2016      6597 (third lowest on record!)

Staffing:  Figures are based on ABC annual reports. 

ABC News Division staff, from ABC Annual reports.

Year   Staff 
2003   766.24 
2004   735.04 
2005   756.6 
2006   770.68 
2007   842.37 
2008   865.59 
2009   913.14 
2010   947.36
2011   963.14
2012   964.97
2013  1009.46 
2014  1051.62
2015  1433.5
2016  1367.41

Productivity: 2016 record low productivity!

ZERO output projected in 2022!

Year  Stories per staff per month 
2003      9.4 
2004      9.4 
2005      9.1 
2006      9.1 
2007      9.5 
2008     10.3 
2009      7.8 
2010      7.1
2011      6.1
2012      8.1
2013      7.7
2014      7.4
2015      5.3
2016      4.8

  Analysis

 In 2015 ABC news staff growth broke from its linear trend and accelerated alarmingly showing exponential growth. In 2022 our staffing models indicate numbers will reach a whopping 2137. At the same time modelling of staff productivity indicate ZERO output. 

New ABC show

Quadrant covers the story lines of a new ABC series....plenty of content for at least 3-4 series!

Episode 1. A Q&A Conundrum:

The show’s producers are in full-panic mode when a work-experience intern makes a total mess of the usual left-wing stack and invites a second conservative guest instead of the intended talking head, a gay and disabled environmental activist with a nuanced reluctance to condemn ISIS out of hand.

For the very first time the panel is in danger of striking a balance between conservative and left-wing representatives, but host Tony Jones rises to the challenge, even though he must now interrupt two conservatives, rather than the standard one, just as each is about to make a point. There is much hilarity as Jones’ efforts grow ever more desperate, climaxing with his impromptu exercise in interpretative dance inspired by an audience member’s query as to how much of his $355,789 salary he is prepared to forego in order to save Pepa Pig.

The episode concludes with the intern being fired for similarly neglecting to stack the audience with the requisite number of Greens, shoe-tossing militant vegans and modern-as-tomorrow Muslim women in burqas denouncing Tony Abbott for misogyny.

At the Catallaxy blog, where they run a weekly competition to guess how often Jones can interrupt in the space of a single hour, civil war breaks out amongst would-be winners debating whether Popper or Say would be more scathing in classifying Jones’ grand jette-with-splits as a full-blown interruption or, more fascinating, if it was the manifestation of  an externality borne of the national broadcaster’s lavish and largely unsupervised budgetary allocations.

Episode 2. Worlds apart.

The ABC seeks to add a new reporter to its environment team. The assorted candidates all demonstrate impressive credentials, but the field is winnowed to two: a former Fairfax Media “climate economy” roundsman who refused point-blank to report a word about the Climategate scandal and a neo-animist lesbian witch from Newtown whose partner, already on the ABC payroll, put in a good word for her.

As a challenge to decide who will get to throw Dorothy Dixers at go-to catastropharian David Karoly, the candidates are ordered to file competing reports on the extinction of the Australian pygmy squirrel, an unfortunate creature whose demise has already been attributed by RNScience Show host Robyn Williams to the coming 100-metre rise in sea levels. Seeing that the world is doomed, Williams explains, the entire squirrel population topped itself rather than watch in helpless horror as Mt Kosciusko became oceanfront real estate.

When one of the job candidates finds the squirrel alive and thriving in the High Country and attempts to report this scoop, his rival, the Newtown witch, is immediately hired. The science is settled, announces Williams, who rejects the furry evidence chittering in its cage on his desk with the explanation that it is not a squirrel at all but a chipmonckton and must therefore be ridiculed when not ignored altogether.

The failed candidate is not deterred, however. The episode fades to black with images of the ex-Fairfax staffer donning a burqa, brandishing a copy of Richard Dawkins’ collected works and being hired as the ABC’s religion correspondent.

Episode 3: The well-earned break.

The ABC is thrown into chaos yet again, this time by a clerical error that sees all but a handful of radio and TV hosts and journalists ordered to take their holidays at the same time. The most senior ABC staffer still on the job turns to her Twitter and Facebook friends to fill the reportorial void created by a depopulated newsroom.

That evening’s news broadcasts lead with the scoop that Tony Abbott cannot tell the difference between a burqa and a niqab and is therefore irredeemably opposed to every woman’s right to be oppressed in a liberated, post-modern sort of way.

A running gag in this episode features supremo Mark Scott, who learnt his journalism at Fairfax and bills himself as the ABC’s editor-in-chief. Eager to help out during the staffing crisis, he sets out to report a story on how the Navy is waylaying ships loaded with live cattle in order to torture their crews with hot engine parts. Sadly, just as he is about to start calling  favouriterefugee advocates, the plumbers arrive to install a 14-carat executive toilet, obliging him to file countless Twitter updates on their progress.

The odd thing is that no viewer notices the slightest difference between normal ABC news coverage and the stream of undiluted social-media ranters that replaces it.

Episode 4. Well-worn media.

When Paul Barry succumbs to food poisoning caused by a dodgy salad from the ABC’s $18 million organic permaculture rooftop garden at its sustainable Ultimo HQ, the job of hostingMedia Watch falls to the broadcaster’s newest recruit, gun reporter Fatima el Baksheesh-Namatjira.

An Indigenous transgender Muslim and stellar graduate of Wendy Bacon’s University of Technology journalism course, she ignites controversy by wearing a burqa while lambasting News Corp.’s opinion-page lamentations about the slow pace of Islamic integration. Arranged marriages, along with bookshops selling Mein Kampf and Protocols of the Elders of Zion, are part and parcel of multiculturalism’s rich mosaic and therefore to be treasured, she asserts. To represent the Jewish perspective, the ABC taps Anthony Loewenstein.

Subsequently criticised in an Australian editorial, Baksheesh-Namatjira is backed by the ABC’s  feminist collective and their XX-chromosone staff representative on the board, who don the burqa en mass to protest unenlightened Western attitudes toward every woman’s right to wear whatever her man tells her. Anne Summers sends a message of support, but regrets she is too busy penning an updated version of her sermon on the injuries inflicted by male-mandated high heels to take up the burqa issue.

All ends happily when when Baksheesh-Namatjira and the ABC win a global media award sponsored by Saudi Arabia’s minister for media and seventh-century couture.  At an awards ceremony televised by SBS she denounces Rupert Murdoch as media revellers dine on Pygmy Squirrel au jus avec artichokes au Jerusalem occupe. 

Episode 5: Not-so-settled science

Shocking news! The scientists at Bolivia’s Climate Change Research Institute for Appropriate and Sustainable Excellence check the data and discover that the global climate’s sensitivity to carbon dioxide is less than a hundreth of that assumed by the IPCC.  The ABC’s enviro desk goes into meltdown, too shocked at first to make mention of the breakthrough. But when even Fairfax Media makes passing mention of the research — a tweet dismissing the report as the mischief of scientists who cannot even tell a burqa from a niqab — the ABC is forced to act.

One of the offending scientists, relentlessly grilled on camera, is confronted by evidence sourced to an NGO, but never identified as an activist NGO,  that leaves no doubt he was once observed standing next to a man smoking a cigarette. As a known lackey of Big Tobacco, he is asked when he stopped beating his wife?

The scientist seems poised to answer the charge, but is interrupted just in time by Tony Jones, who dances in tights and overstuffed-sausage mode across the set, rendering the guest speechless. Turning to the camera, Leigh Sales, brow creased with concern, reads from a script provided by Tim Flannery’s Climate Council, which has discovered a new threat — and a fresh theme for direct-mail fund-raising campaigns.

“You may never have heard of Dihydrogen Monoxide,” she gravely intones, “but the CSIRO certainly has and its experts are worried, very worried, that the Abbott government will cut funds for the  front-line PR operatives promoting this new peril and the needed increases in the agency’s budget.”

On Twitter, Flannery endorses Jones’ taste in leotards and suggests, courtesy of his new girlfriend’s former occupation, that dress-up games are a carbon-neutral way of adding some spice to ho-hum boudoir antics. Mrs Tony Jones, aka Sarah Ferguson, tweets back that she is one jump ahead, and has already bought a burqa to make for a really swinging evening.

The episode concludes with Q&A plant and proud Muslim woman Rebecca Kay tweeting that Ferguson is a racist for not knowing the difference between a niqab and a burqa and, by logical extension, must be another of the ink-stained shaytans on Rupert Murdoch’s infernal payroll.

ABC in a muddle defining Sharia

Only the ABC can ask the question, What is Sharia? and come up with the answer: "a path to water".

So a top ten list:
ABC tackle some other definitions of the 21st century:

1. Suicide bomber/be-heading: one of a number of systems of de-population intended to reduce the impact of climate change.
2. Summer/Winter: climate change in action.
3. Environment: GAIA - our overlord, all praise the earth goddess and her facilitators.
4. Air conditioning: one of the top 5 social problems of our age .
5. Current government: a blockage on the pathway to GAIA.
6. The Greens: Facilitators of GAIA, praise be upon them.
7. Wind Power: circulating the fragrant farts of GAIA (What bird carcasses?)
8. Coal: Black vile, evil substance.
9. Nuclear Power: see coal, just a different colour

and the top ABC definition

10. ISIS/L:  a group of people on a path to water

Scare mongering ABC journos need your help

Unfortunately ABC's current batch of bed wetting activists  reporters were born without the sense of perspective gene. This important gene helps normal people discern pure sensationalism from information that we need to pay attention to. Without the gene ABC's affected reporters appear incapable of telling fact from fiction and as a result it is open to spreading sensationalist propaganda.

Case in point is a report yesterday by ABC's Hamish Fitzsimmons. It appears that a dysfunctional perspective gene has affected  Hamish's ability to do basic research.

Here's Hamish's headline:
Sea level rises due to climate change could cost Australia $200b, Climate Council report finds
In his report Hamish provides a platform for professional doom-sayer Will Steffan to make the following statement:

"If you look at a 1.1 metre sea level rise - which is the high-end scenario for 2100 but that's what we're tracking towards - you're looking at more than $200 billion worth of infrastructure that's at risk." "If you look at some of our most vulnerable areas, and the Sydney region is one of those, you would say toward the end of this century that a one-in-100-year flood is going to be happening every few days," he said.

In regard to a sea level rise of 1.1m (1100mm) Will Steffan says "That's what we're tracking towards". Really?

Hamish didn't bother looking at the facts, nor it seems did the alarmist Climate Council. We spent approximately 30 seconds on the internet to locate the following chart from the
Permanent Service for Mean Sea Level (PSMSL):

Fort Denison: monthly mean sea level data

This shows long term sea level in the Sydney area. The graph shows flattish trends from the start of the record to about 1950, then a step change, followed by flattish trends to the end of the data. A simplistic linear regression analysis would provide an average annual sea level rise of about 0.55 mm per year. Extrapolated to 2100 this would amount to an additional rise of 47 mm. This is a very small fraction of what Steffen believes "we're tracking towards".

We have a bunch of alarmist activist scientists who it seems are incapable of analysing real world data feeding gullible reporters who basically appear unwilling to check the facts. The end result is the spread of misinformation.

Unfortunately at this stage there is no cure to what is being called Sponge Syndrome.

Update: The chart below extends the raw Denison data forwards in time and shows what needs to happen in order to satisfy the Climate Councils notion of what we're tracking towards". This lacks credibility and the ABC should ask the council about it.

Where to put Chris Uhlmann?

Last month we covered news that Gai Brodtmann, wife of ABC24's political editor Chris Uhlmann,  was running for the ALP in the seat of Canberra. It now seems that Gai Brodtmann has won the seat of Canberra despite a swing of about 6% against the ALP on primary vote (congratulations Gai). However given ABC's Editorial policy states:
4.4 Conflict of interest
4.4.1 There should be no conflict between the private interests of ABC staff and their official duties. The outside activities of staff, including financial, personal and political relationships, must not compromise the editorial integrity of ABC programs. Staff are expected to arrange their affairs in a manner that will prevent conflict of interest.
it seems that ABC will have to find Mr Uhlmann a new position. Given Chris has stated “It’s a perfectly reasonable thing to raise and I have no problems with people raising it at all."; we are interested in readers suggestions of where ABC can fit Mr Uhlmann to minimise the risk of a conflict of interest arising. Here are some suggestions:
Gardening Australia
Host of ABC3's Prank Patrol
ABC Sports commentator
Play school presenter
Sunday Arts
Collectors
If you can find a spot for Chris let us know.

Investigations at "The Drum"

COMMENT: ABC promotes "The Drum" as "analysis and views on issues of the day" however with its "investigation" into expenses of Opposition Leader Tony Abbott titled  How the taxpayer helped Tony Abbott flog Battlelines it appears to have crossed over into the realm of actual "News". Is this an opinion piece or a news story? In publishing this at The Drum (opinion) is ABC attempted to subvert its own editorial policy that provides stricter rules on facts for "News" items than for "opinion" pieces? Is this part of an internal power struggle within Auntie? Has ABC News missed so many of the big stories that ABC's agony Aunt "The Drum" now see fit to fill the gap? Is The Drum now so embarrassed by the performance of ABC News service that it now provides its own? Will The Drum now insist on going 24/7 with its ground breaking opinion pieces? 
So many questions, so few answers.

ABC News: Productivity at record low-no news by 2035.

An alarming trend has appeared in our survey of ABC News productivity. With June just past the half way mark ABC News output is at record lows (see chart below), and our earlier predictions that ABC will have zero weekday news output by 2067 look a little optimistic. Based on the current 2010 data ABC News will in fact reach zero output in 2035! This is a full 32 years earlier than previously predicted.  The models now indicate a clear link between increases in ABC news staff and falling ABC News output. The only way to reverse the trend is for a reduction in ABC News staff numbers to at least pre-2003 levels. 

Returning ABC News productivity represents the greatest moral challenge our nation has faced. 

In order to undertake this great moral challenge we propose initiating an ABC Corporate-wide Personnel Retirement Scheme or CPRS. There is no other way to return productivity to previous levels, and based on the trends we must act now and act fast. The CPRS will begin the process of reducing alarming ABC News staff numbers and help prepare all Australians for a future in which there will be zero ABC News output.  A CPRS levy will need to be placed on the Australian public to help fund the retirement packages of ABC news staff. However the public can help in other ways; for instance by reducing their consumption of ABC content. More sustainable alternate sources of news are available. 

An ABC free lifestyle is attainable, and based on the long terms trends this is something we will all need to get used to eventually if ABC News productivity continues to plummet. Know that the earlier we prepare the better off we will be.

Note that the figures are actually worse than presented as we have not adjusted for actual 2010 staff numbers. These numbers will be available later in the year when ABC releases its annual report. We will update the charts and predictions to take actual staff numbers into account when this is available. It looks grim.

ABC NEWS Productivity Survey: Models predict grim future.

We have finalised the results of our inaugural survey of the productivity of ABC's News service. The long term trends provide an alarming picture of the future of ABC News, and of news in general! The survey is based on a count of stories for the month of June for each year in ABC's news archives, starting in 2003. Staff numbers are derived from ABC annual reports. We have used June as the basis for our survey as ABC Annual reports provide a head count of staff for this month.
SUMMARY FOR POLICY MAKERS: 
ABC doing less with more!
RESULTS
Staffing
ABC Annual reports indicate an alarming rise in staff numbers over the period 2003 to 2009 from 766.24 to 913.14.

Based on the trend our model indicates ABC News Staff Numbers in the year 2100 will be about 3450. Given the proportion of staff in "News" to the rest of the ABC remains at 2009 levels (20.1%),we predict with a high degree of certainty (90%) that in 2100 the ABC will have about 17163 staff. Of concern is that there appears to be no correlation between ABC staff numbers and global temperature, which remained flat over the study period.
News Output
Applying the standard measure of productivity used for university academics, we have based our analysis in terms of stories per staff member. In these terms, based on the data provided, ABC News productivity fell to an all time low in 2009 with each staff member employed by ABC News resulting in just 7.8 stories for the month, a sharp drop on 2008 which yielded 10.3 stories per staff member. Readers may find the shape of the graph somewhat familiar.

Despite the increased staff, total stories declined dramatically from the previous year from 8894 to just 7134, well below 2003 figures. Note that we have not attempted to hide the decline in the graph below.

Weekend News

For weekends there has been a steady decline in productivity over the study period.

Given a continuation of the long term trend, our model predicts the unit output per staff member for weekend news stories will fall to zero in the year 2102, at which point ABC News will employ about 3506 staff in News. We are unsure what they will be doing, or whether this indicates that nothing will be worth reporting on in the not so distant future.
Weekday News
The future appears even more grim for those who rely on ABC News output for their Weekday news. 2009 was an all time low, with a productivity index of just 0.32 stories per staff member per day.

Alarmingly, leaving out the obvious outliers of 2007 and 2008, the long term trend points to zero output by 2067, at which time staff levels will be around 2522. We assume that these staff will be involved in preparing a diminishing number of stories for ABC's weekend news. However we feel it's worth noting that all the news worth reporting will occur on the weekend.

We will add to our analysis for 2010 when ABC's annual report appears later in the year. Naturally a copy of the raw data is available on request. 

Best of ABC? Would you like some "climate propaganda" with your raw prawn?

COMMENT: So what's "Best of the ABC" this week? Perhaps an interview with Dr Roy Spencer about new developments in climate science that indicate climate sensitivity has been over estimated by the IPCC leaving their models and the "climate crisis" without a leg to stand on? Oh that's right ABC have thus far failed to report on it. Instead our national broadcaster uses tax payer funds to feed us some more "climate propaganda".
Best of ABC: In this case, sure to leave you feeling like you've eaten a raw prawn left baking out in the hot sun too long.